Split my sides, so funny I could die creased up in the middle in a pile of gleaming teeth and teary eyes with foaming mouth and rictus smile laugh yself feral with yr friends and with yr family tonight. Laugh yself feral at the folks, the walking jokes the ones emerging from the smoke to take the stage. Obscene absurd laugh until it hurts.
For the price of a license fee see the many hopefuls stripped of flesh live in glittering HD. See the many hopefuls queue to try and pacify the grinning lions licking offal off their teeth. Laugh yself to bits with me happy in the knowledge that despite our flaws we're better off than these deluded dickheads living in a dream, folded into packages then hammered squeeling into the machine. Laugh yself to bits with me, laugh yself to pieces at the idiot swinging in the breeze. Laugh yself to bits with me, laugh yself to pieces at the idiot who hangs himself on screen, peaceful and serene like the beast that walks to slaughter without thought of anything. Laugh yself feral at the idiot twisting in the breeze. Laugh yself feral at the idiot who hangs himself onscreen. Laugh yself feral then apply to be on ITV next week.