Lycra Man

from I Exercised Myself to Death! by Matt Stockl

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lyrics

Towards the waning of my third decade on earth I swelled a little round the middle, I gained a little girth
I was happy with my handles but my lover never learned to love my curves

I went and bought myself a suit of running clothes: elasticated leggings in a drastic shade of mauve
That bound me, and contained me, and distributed the load
And wicked away the wetness of my skin

See sense, pedestrians
These paths were paved for me

‘Cos I’m Lycra Man
I’m Lycra Man
I dress for speed not style
I dress to luminesce
Then I go glowing down those many lonely miles
Between the body in my joggers
And the body in my mind

I’m Lycra Man
I’m Lycra Man
I’m brighter than the sun
Tighter attire you’ve never seen
It must be painted on
Oh, I was born to put it on
Baby, I was born to run

So I bought myself a wristwatch with a vast glass glowing face
To calculate my calories
And regulate my pace
To monitor my movements
And moderate my weight

In a feral fit bit shit fit I kicked the arse right out of it
I smashed it
I killed it
I used up all my store
Of violent jargonistic aggressive fitness business metaphor

See sense, pedestrians
I own the roads and streets

‘Cos I’m Lycra Man
I’m Lycra Man
Upon my mighty flanks
A million rainbow rivers flow
Then swell and burst their banks
My body is a temple:
An ageing grey expanse

I’m Lycra Man
I’m Lycra Man
I’m brighter than the sun
When I pass by, the people cry:
‘It must be painted on!’
Oh, I was born to put it on
Baby, I was born to run

Baby, I was born to run

credits

from I Exercised Myself to Death!, released July 28, 2019

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Matt Stockl UK

Cynical, satirical, lyrical, comical.

Daft songs. Grubby recordings.

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